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Ad Agencies Take Consumers for Fools

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By Dawn Zamanis

Published: December 6, 2006

Brandon, FL - Brandon, FL - Have you ever seen a car commercial that looked different from the car commercial you saw 10 minutes earlier? For that matter, have you ever seen a car commercial that looked any different from any car commercial you've seen in your lifetime?

I haven't. It's always the same old thing: a man's raspy voice yelling at the viewer at the speed of light, rambling on about financing and some end of the year clearance nonsense. That's about all I get out of those ads. With all that yelling and ritualistic car talk, I couldn't even tell you the make of the
car, or why I should consider buying it.

Some commercials are so annoying I wouldn't buy the product if I needed it. Why? Because these ad agencies, hired by retailers, continue to insult my intelligence. I can just see the ad agencies mocking the fools who bought cars based on those commercials that insulted not only brainless consumers but smart ones who should know better.

Based on what I see, retailers should be broke. If they are relying on targeting intelligent consumers to buy their products, no intelligent person in their right mind would run out and buy a product such as, say, "Head-On." What person in their right mind would give that retailer the satisfaction of purchasing a product whose ad is more maddening than Roseanne Barr's nauseating laugh?

I think their goal is to give the viewer a headache so intense that they become desperate enough to buy their stuff just to get relief. But mind you, if you can get through that commercial without getting a blinding migraine, you owe it to yourself to boycott the product on the basis of sheer aggravation.

And what's with all the drug commercials? Drug companies are now pushing prescription medications on consumers. That's just plain wrong. How many fools will rush into their doctor's offices and say "I think I know what I need based on a few commercial I've seen. I must have acid-reflux disease combined with clinical depression and possibly the beginnings of rheumatoid arthritis which is worsening because I can't sleep and believe I am also an insomniac with "ED." Fix me up, Doc." I would think that any qualified physician would not only be offended, but would assume you were a hypochondriac. What kind of doctors are we dealing with?

The worst commercials by far -- because of their sheer stupidity -- are the ones for alarm systems that notify the authorities if an intruder breaks into your home. They depict a weak, scared female, sometimes with children. She's puttering around the house when suddenly a beast bursts through her front door, then runs away. The next image shows this terrified woman answering a phone call from the alarm company asking if everything is OK. "No," she replies. "Someone just broke down our front door." If someone had just broken down my front door, I wouldn't be answering the phone, I'd be high-tailin' as fast as my feet would let me.

C'mon retailers, quit insulting our intelligence. Yes, your ads may have gotten our attention, but rest assured, we're not also pleasantly amused. As long as you continue to hire ad agencies that offend the intelligence of consumers, count me out of your circle of customers.

If you actually used your heads and came up with a witty, intelligent version of an ad, your profits would skyrocket. Because, truth is, if we like your ad, we'll probably buy the product whether we need it or not. In addition, a bright consumer will buy your product because he is not offended to the point of not wanting to purchase it.

And to think these ad agencies are getting the big bucks to write this garbage. That tells me there's something wrong with the agency head who sold the "Head On" ad to the retailer who didn't have a brain cell in his own head.

Dawn Zamanis is a Valrico resident and the mother of five sons. She has been a freelance writer for national magazines and news publications and can be contacted through thebrandonnews@mediageneral.com.

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