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Candidly Dawn

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By Dawn Zamanis

Published: December 13, 2006

Brandon, FL - Brandon, FL - Let's face it -- teenagers can't afford RAZR cell phones, $200 sneakers and new skateboards every few weeks, even with a more-than-adequate allowance. So what's with teens and pre-teens walking around with every luxury imaginable -- luxuries that used to be reserved for hard-working adolescents or at least parents who wanted to wow their kid with big Christmas gifts? Parents who had some sense of responsibility used to scrimp and save.

Why? Because they've given up family life for faux lavishness -- and have spared no expense at making sure their kids have the newest and best of everything. And it is causing major problems in society.

Remember when a teen's purchase with his first paycheck would have resulted in his first expensive gadget? Do teens today even know the meaning of the word earn?

Hardly -- they are showered with gifts year round by their parents, given by parents who simply don't want to spend time with their kids and who don't realize that they aren't teaching their kids a thing about humility, appreciation, empathy, responsibility or love.

What are these parents thinking? Seriously do they really believe that by buying their kids everything they are raising kids who respect hard work and value a dollar? I think not. Instead, they are setting the worst example possible. And these spoiled kids will not be working on Wall Street. No way, they will expect everything handed to them on a silver platter, or should I say text-messaged to them on their $400 cell phones.

Parents, wise up. You're creating a generation of selfish kids who expect the world to cater to their every impulse. Material things do not make up for time spent with your teen. Perhaps if you sat down once in a while and talked to your kids, you'd learn the shocking truth.

They would much rather have a few extra minutes with dad or a hug from mother, a kind word from father, a trip to the park as a family, or even dinner together, not only on special occasions, but every night.

Blame parents, folks. Parents are raising a stomach turning "me" generation. Want to know why, no matter what you buy them, it seems that he or she doesn't appreciate it? Because these children expect it, and they will expect even more in the future. And sadly, I find that parents, most of the time, use this ploy to help their kids make friends.

"If Tyler has the good stuff, and the newest gadgets, cell phones and all; he'll be popular because the other boys will want to hang out with him just to see how all his stuff works," said one mom to me recently. "It definitely helps him make friends, and to be honest, it makes him look better and kids respect him more."

What a sad commentary. Is this what normal parents are now up against? I refuse to be one of these moms. And I feel sorry for the kids whose parents continue to shower their children in extravagance without ever once asking "how was your day?' and really caring about the answer.

I'd much rather have dinner with my kids as a family and talk about what they want for their big Christmas gift. This way they have something to look forward to. Those other sad teens have nothing to look forward to except maybe finding that their parents have ditched the gifts for some quality time with their own kids.

After all, that's what they want from you for their big Christmas gift.

Dawn Zamanis is a Valrico resident and the mother of five sons. She has been a freelance writer for national magazines and news publications and can be contacted through thebrandonnews@mediageneral.com

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