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Children Keep Everything In Perspective

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By DEREK MAUL | The Brandon News

Published: April 17, 2007

My doorbell has been ringing a lot lately and it hasn't been the Prize Patrol. Mostly I've turned away a series of tree trimmers, yard service reps and handymen. I'm a good six months behind on everything from gardening to repairs and I suspect the neighbors have been giving out the address.

So last week when Scout the Labradoodle jumped off her $1,200 dog-bed (read "new couch") and raced to the front door I thought I knew what was coming.

But it was FedEx and the package took me by surprise. My book isn't officially available until May 1 and it hadn't occurred to me I'd see copies before then. The box was full of something heavy and with my publisher's logo on the label. I was so excited I could hardly breathe.

Of course I called my wife, Rebekah, at work.

"You have to come home," I said. "I'm putting the kettle on for tea. I can't open the box by myself."
She pulled in the driveway less than 30 minutes later but I've got to tell you 30 minutes can be a long time.

So I poured the tea then opened the box with the special letter-opener Rebekah gave me for just such an occasion. Inside I found several copies of my first book along with the study guide. All I could do was just stand there, holding the culmination of so many dreams, and once again I found myself overwhelmed and deeply moved, unable to contain the emotion.

My life seems to have become one poignant moment after another. Fortunately, at least this go-round, it's all good. Tears of joy, tears of insight, tears of transparency, tears of healing, tears of love.

Maybe I'm just getting older, or perhaps I'm simply increasing my capacity to embrace and experience those deeper feelings. I honestly think it's the latter. Indeed, it's an important point that comes out in the book. The fact that -- for men especially -- emotion can be a troubling complication so we tend to try to suppress it, nervous of anything that competes with our constant and counterproductive obsession with personal control.

My growth in this area has all the appearance of a non-sequitur (Latin for, "it does not follow"). That would be true of course if the human experience was as cut and dried as we try to make it out to be. If for example linear reasoning equaled the beginning and the end of truth, or if the scope of the universe was limited to the borders of our personal understanding.

Last week a Brandon News letter writer fingered such apparent contradictions in her ongoing witness against Christian faith. I can't speak for religion in general but as a follower of Jesus I have to say that much of the message necessarily resonates only in the deeper places of my soul, because by reason alone I cannot begin to comprehend the words of Christ: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. … Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. … If you want to be great you must be a servant. … He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for my sake will find it. …"

So I'm discovering more and more truth and meaning and strength in increased vulnerability, the giving up of control, and in placing my faith far outside of my own capabilities. The paradox comes into play because it is only now that I feel equipped and competent to tap the resources and gifts I was created to enjoy.

So I put down the box of books, dried my eyes, and read the dedication page out loud. "To my wife, Rebekah, who has taught me what it means to live without reservation; to our children, Andrew and Naomi, who have helped me understand the extent of love; and to all the men and women who have accompanied me thus far on the journey."

The dedication reminded me of another truth: both our children are happy. That alone makes "GET REAL" pale in comparison. Talk about perspective. If there's room for only one fact in our next newsletter, forget the book it will be this: "Naomi married Craig in June. Her parents are very proud."

Derek Maul is a writer who lives in Valrico. You can reach him at derekmaul@gmail.com.

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