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Counting On A Miracle

D'Ann White/Staff photo

“I want to live because I don’t want them to grow up without a mommy,” said Wendi Mangold with her three children, Davey, Charlie and Mary Emily.

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By D'ANN LAWRENCE WHITE | The Tampa Tribune

Published: February 26, 2007

Under Plan A, Wendi Mangold's family and friends raise as much money as possible, find a clinical cancer trial she qualifies for and fund her expenses to participate in it. Then they pray for a miracle.

A woman of great faith, Mangold doesn't like to think about Plan B. But she's also a realist.

The 35-year-old Brentwood Hills woman knows now that her breast cancer has spread to her liver and spine, there's a possibility she might not live to see her three children, Davey, 5, Charlie, 3, and Mary Emily 1, grow up.

So, Plan B is her funeral arrangements. Mangold has specified what she'll wear, what music she wants played and what kind of reception she wants.

"I want a party with ribs, music and people telling stories and saying, 'Boy, that girl was fun,'" she said.
She also asked a friend, whose mother died at age 11, what she missed most about not having a mother. The friend responded by presenting Mangold with a voice recorder and a memory album.

But if Mangold and her family and friends have anything to say about it, she won't be putting Plan B into action for a very long time.

"We just can't let anything happen to her," said Cindy Tilley, who met Mangold when their two children were in preschool together. "She's just so special. You only have to meet her to understand what I mean. You can't help but love her."

Tilley is among a group of friends from First United Methodist Church of Brandon who will host a yard sale and hot dog and bake sale March 3 from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Bill Carey Unit of the Boys & Girls Club, 213 N. Knights Ave., off State Road 60, Brandon, to benefit Wendi Mangold. The group also is offering tickets for $1 donation for a chance to win prizes including two box seats to a Tampa Bay Lightning game, a $500 flooring certificate and dinner for 10 to 12 people at Bonefish Grill.

Three weeks ago, the Community for Women at St. Stephen Catholic Church, where the Mangolds are members, raised more than $5,000 for Mangold at its benefit yard sale.

All the proceeds from both fundraisers will be used to help pay for Mangold's medical expenses as she embarks on her search for a clinical cancer trial after exhausting traditional treatments.

Up until she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005, Mangold said she was living her dream. She met her husband, Dave, while they were attending the University of Florida. They married in 1997 and, although she had a master's degree in teaching, she chose to stay home when Davey came along in 2001.

It was a month before Mary Emily was born that Mangold found the lump in her breast. She told her obstetrician who made an appointment with a surgeon. But, because she was pregnant, she couldn't have a mammogram and the surgeon chose not to perform a sonogram at that time.

"Right after I had Mary they did an ultrasound and the surgeon said he wanted to do a biopsy," Mangold recalled. It happened to be Davey's fourth birthday so she left her husband and mother to the party preparations while she had the biopsy. "I knew it wasn't cancer."

But it was, and the cancer already had spread to her lymph nodes. Mangold recalled the surgeon hugging her when he gave her the news.

"It was hard at first," Mangold said. "I think I cried the first month. But Dave and I both turned to our faith. Dave started going to Mass every Sunday morning as I went through the regular course of treatment – surgery, chemo, radiation. My sister, a chemical engineer in Tennessee, dropped everything to be with me, and convinced her company to transfer her to Florida. And without my mother (Dianna Bloss) and mother-in-law (Annette) to help with the kids, I'd be a complete mess. It's brought us all so much closer together."

They'd pinned their hopes on the fact that Mangold's cancer had been detected early, and cancer detected early has a high rate of survival.

However, Mangold had three strikes against her. Her type of cancer, invasive ductal carcinoma, has a "triple negative" that makes it resistant to traditional treatment. It is estrogen receptor negative, progesterone receptor negative and Her 2 receptor negative. After exhausting treatments at the Moffitt Cancer Center & Research Institute and then moving on to the Lakeland Regional Cancer Center, Mangold's oncologists now have advised her to search for clinical trials being conducted somewhere in the United States for her type of cancer. So far she hasn't had any luck.

As she's talking, the phone rings. It's the Rev. Al McGowan, a friend and pastor of Mangold's childhood church in Lakeland, calling. McGowan sat with Mangold through all her chemo and radiation treatments. He wanted to tell her about a new treatment for her form of cancer.

"Sorry, Al," she said. "They've already tried that."

"Oh, well, I'll keep looking," he said, only momentarily defeated.

McGowan said he bonded with Mangold instantly when he met her 3½ years ago.

"We're both outgoingly crazy. There's just something about her – the way she lives, the way she loves, the way she's just Wendi. She's special. What's not to love? She's the same age as my daughter and she's like my daughter. We have a covenant of faith, and I've seen God do amazing things for women with positive attitudes."

Throughout the conversation, Mangold is called on to moderate sibling disagreements, retrieve binkies and examine boo-boos. She's visibly relieved when her mom suggests taking the three children to the mall for the afternoon.

It frustrates Mangold when her illness zaps her strength and she doesn't have the energy to get up and make breakfast for her children or when she has to depend on friends and family to help with laundry and cleaning.

"But I don't know what I'd do without my friends. I've been very blessed. Everyone's so willing to help. And it's not just help but attention and concern and talks away from the cliff. They've been amazing. It's been very humbling," she said.

Just as humbling have been the prayers of strangers, the participation of her friends at Breezy's Beads in last year's 3-Day Cancer Walk and, most recently, the efforts of a group of a nonprofit St. Petersburg Beach-based cancer survivors called Viva Las Chicas, which provides free services such as laundry for those struggling with cancer.

Despite Plan B being tucked away in her dresser drawer, Mangold said she's determined to win her battle against cancer.

"I'm expecting a miracle. When God tests your faith, you've got to be ready. I've fought this long and it's not going to be in vain," she said, watching her mother usher her children out the front door. "I'm not afraid to die. I know if I die, I'm going to be happier than I've ever been. But I want to live because I don't want them to grow up without a mommy. They deserve a mommy here."

To donate items to the yard sale or for ticket donations, contact Tilley at 643-3928 or Melanie Weitz at 707-1572.

D'Ann White is editor of The Brandon News.

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