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The Best Of Both Cultures

KATHY MOORE/STAFF

Three year-old Zachary Criden was adopted by a Valrico couple when he was 23 months old. He joined their two other adoptive children. All three were adopted from China. KATHY MOORE/STAFF

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By ELAINE MARKOWITZ, Tribune correspondent

Published: January 5, 2008

Updated: 01/03/2008 04:11 pm

VALRICO - Faraway China beckoned Elisa and Stephen Criden of Valrico when they decided to adopt a child.

"We knew we wanted to do an international adoption," Elisa Criden said, "and we learned that the process in China was generally predictable and the children were usually healthy."

The Cridens, who worked through a private adoption agency, Chinese Children Adoption International, adopted an 8-month-old girl they named Lily, now 8.

Today, they are among the fortunate who have adopted three Chinese children.

"We wanted siblings with the same background as our daughter," Criden said, "so we decided to go back to China."

Two more children followed - Ava, 5, and Zachary, 3.

Adopting boys is less common but possible, Criden said. Those available for adoption usually are older or have special needs, such as a physical infirmity or disability.

Zachary was born with a cleft lip and palate, which Chinese doctors had repaired before the Cridens took him home.

"It's a non-issue now," said his new mother. "It's barely noticeable."

The couple are among many in Hillsborough County employing the help of social service agencies to bring Chinese children out of orphanages and foster care and into permanent homes.

Traci and Paul Wright of Brandon felt the same draw to China when they decided to adopt a child after four years of marriage.

"My husband and I decided we'd only have one child because of our ages," Traci Wright, 43, said one recent morning in a Brandon bookstore. Her daughter, Sophie, 5, flipped through rows of colorful books nearby.

"I had seen an article in a magazine about a stronger desire for boys in Chinese families," Wright said. "I had a 100 percent feeling in my heart that I wanted to adopt a daughter in China."

Working through Lifelink, a nonprofit health and human services organization, the Wrights found their way to an orphanage in Wuhan in central China in 2003. There, they met the 15-month-old who would soon become their daughter.

Raising their good-natured child, Wright said, has proved to be a joy and has led to friendships with other parents of Asian-born children. They publish a magazine for Chinese girls as a result of their experience with Sophie.

China's appeal had a practical side. Usually, children there are in orphanages for economic and cultural reasons, Wright said. They are healthy and haven't suffered abuse.

"Most abandoned daughters come from farm families with limited resources," she said. "The families need their sons to help them."

Wright said the government permits rural couples to have two children, although the general policy of the country is one per family.

"The Chinese are taxed for children that exceed the limit," she said. "A lot of girls who are put up for adoption are second daughters."

She added that well-to-do families who live in Chinese cities and can pay the tax have as many children as they want.

Lifelink International Adoption has branches in Florida, Iowa, Wisconsin and Illinois. Jennifer Massie, regional supervisor for the organization, said the policy to limit children has created a gender imbalance that China is trying to correct. That correction may mean a decline in children eligible for adoption in the next decade. Fewer children will make the process more difficult and make the long process even longer.

"Families who submitted documents to China in December of 2005 are just now starting to get matched with children," Massie said.

The Cridens and Wrights had concerns about how their children would adjust to the transition from China to America. The adjustment period proved short in both cases.

The Wrights credited Lifelink.

"They have social workers in China," she said, "who help you with everything from talking to supplying diapers."

Wright said she and her husband, 51, had been with their new daughter for only about 10 days before taking her home, where a newly decorated bedroom awaited her.

"Some families have issues when they get home," she said. "Sophie had a couple of rough days, and then she was OK."

Among Sophie's difficulties was getting used to sleeping alone.

"In foster care, the children slept with adults or other children," Wright said.

The Cridens had no notable problems with their children.

"Zachary fit in so perfectly with our family," Elisa Criden said. "Within a few months, he was singing the ABC song."

The Wrights and Cridens are taking numerous steps to balance their children's dual cultures. Both hope to return to China at least once a year to help their children stay in touch with their roots. Both take their children to a monthly play group with other Asian-born adoptees.

Traci Wright has gone a step further. She and Paul recently founded Mei, a magazine for Chinese girls. The title, she said, means "beautiful" in mandarin.

"The basic premise is that it's important to have a magazine with issues they the girls face," she said, "but with faces that look familiar to them."

The magazine features an advice column and articles on fashions and applying make up to a different shaped eye.

"It's not all heavy," Wright said. "We have fun stories, too, like how to have a slumber party."

Each issue also showcases an Asian-American woman who might serve as a role model.

"We have subscribers in every state now," Wright said, "and in Australia, Canada and the UK."

Wright expressed gratitude for having Sophie in her life.

"Sometimes I have a sense of guilt because another woman is missing out on her," she said of the child's birth mother. "She is the best thing that ever happened to us."

For information on Chinese adoptions, visit lifelink adoption.org or chinese children.org. For information on Mei, go to meimagazine .com.

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