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A Father's Day Letter To Dad

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: June 11, 2008

Dear Dad

I've found the father I didn't know I had.

As a child, I wanted a father who would just sit and talk awhile, one who would take time to listen to my thoughts. But my dad worked from sunup at his job, and then, when he'd get home, he'd do chores on our farm until after sunset.

I wanted a father who laughed and joked all the time, not just on vacations or at mealtime. Daddy was in a good mood then because he was free of care for those short times. We'd visit family or theme parks or the beach, and it was then that I really enjoyed Daddy.

I wanted a father who'd open the Bible when I had a problem and share what he and the Lord thought I should do about it. Daddy read the Bible to himself and was forever reading something, but not to me.

Young children don't have the vantage point of experience to remind them what parents go through. Now, in middle age, I understand Daddy had to work all the time - he had three kids and a wife to support, so Mama could stay home and raise us. His work was just beginning when he walked in from his day job. There were cows to feed and milk, hay to bale, peas to pick, a yard to mow and a million other things that, to me, seemed so unnecessary and boring.

With three teenagers, there was more in store for Daddy than he knew. We'd put pop caps in his cigarettes in hopes that he'd give up smoking. We'd mix a concoction resembling Coca-Cola in a bottle and put it in the refrigerator for when he went looking for something cool to drink. We played all kinds of pranks on him, but he didn't let on that we'd got him.

Teenagers also meant more work for Daddy. We wanted cars, so he gave each of us one - not the new ones we wanted, but older models he forever had to tinker with. My brother wanted a minibike, sister had to have a horse, and my dream was a grand piano. Daddy worked so he could give us those things - and much more.

He taught us to never shirk our duties, always to do our best whatever the task, don't complain or stay mad. We learned to have fun when work was done, enjoy family times, love our mother and never sass her.

Daddy made us take care of our possessions, be clean and neat, not require the newest things but keep what we had in good working condition. He taught us that love means working hard for those who mean the most to you. Doing things with your kids is better than leaving them with a sitter while you did your own thing.

A year and a half ago, Daddy was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre syndrome, a disease like Lou Gehrig's. He's been completely bed-ridden for over three months.

This illness has forced Daddy to stop everything. My mother is his main caretaker, while I go over on the weekends to take care of them both.

Now, I'm an adult with an ill, elderly father, and I view Daddy differently. We read the Bible and pray together, talk about anything he or I want to mention, tease each other and laugh about it. Sometimes, we just sit and say nothing at all.

But the father I wanted as a child was right there all along. Daddy is the father I didn't realize he was, but he's just what I always wanted.

MELODY BROWN FEIST

Brandon

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