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Devastated By Loss, But Now Helping Others

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By DEREK MAUL

Tribune correspondent

Published: September 24, 2008

BRANDON - When Valrico resident Sue Bowditch lost her daughter, Karron, in 2000, her whole world came to a halt.
Karron suffered an adverse reaction to medication. It was an unexpected, accidental death that left Bowditch virtually paralyzed.

Only with the help of others who had lived through similar dark days was she able to learn how to live again.

She found help through Bereaved Parents of the USA, a network of support groups with local chapters around the country.

At first, she leaned on others. Soon, she was the one offering a shoulder.

"Today, I facilitate two support groups," she said, "one in Plant City and one in Brandon. This is a club that none of us ever wanted to be a part of.

"I don't know where I would be today if not for Bereaved Parents. When you have lost a child, your whole world stops and gets torn apart, and life as you knew it once no longer exits. It is a complicated and long journey to recovery.

"The pain is so deep," she said. "The first five years, I had no room for anything except the pain. It's overpowering, overwhelming. But you have to go on. There's a family to take care of, children and grandchildren. It's survival. Some days I still take two steps forward and three steps back."

Support is critical, she said.

"Recovery is too big to do by yourself," Bowditch said. "People think they can, but it comes back and bites them - they're in much worse shape. I've looked the devil in the face and I've said, 'No, you're not getting me.'"

Support is more effective when parents can talk about the experience of losing a child, she said.

"I have stayed with the group to help others learn that they, too, can survive. To help them know that they, too, can get through and have joy in their lives once again."
Bereaved Parents has three groups in the Tampa Bay chapter. In Brandon, the group meets from 10 a.m. to noon the second Friday monthly at the Greater Brandon Chamber of Commerce, 330 Pauls Drive, Suite 100. In Tampa, parents meet at 6:30 p.m. the second Sunday monthly at the St. Joseph's Hospital Medical Arts Building, 3001 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. The Plant City support group meets from 7 to 9 p.m. the fourth Thursday monthly at South Florida Baptist Hospital, 301 N. Alexander St.
Bowditch noted, "None of us are 'licensed therapists.' The only license we have is that we lost a child."

The chapter newsletter reaches 700 families.

"That's just people who know about us," Bowditch said.

For Bowditch and her husband, talking with other parents who have endured similar life-altering events made all the difference. Friends and neighbors can't identify, she said.

"You're fighting every day to survive, and other people don't want to hear about it," she said. "It's almost like, 'go away, we don't want to see you cry.'"

Bowditch's journey to serving the needs of grieving parents in Tampa Bay took many turns.

Born and raised in Levy County, she left Florida as a young adult and didn't return until she moved to Brandon with Benson in 1995.

"I met Benson in Galveston, Texas," she said. "We were married in 1972. We have five children between us - 'mine, yours and ours.'" Benson Bowditch is a retired sea captain and president of the Tampa Bay Dragon Boat Club.

The pair also lived in North Carolina and volunteered with paramedic services and firefighters both there and in Texas.

"Volunteering builds a sense of community," Bowditch said.

In Brandon, after her daughter's death, Bowditch took over caring for Karron's daughter, Brytani.

"I had a great time getting involved in the chorus boosters at Bloomingdale High School. I love it here. Brandon has everything to offer," she said.
Bowditch is intent on spreading the word to bereaved parents that support is available and healing is possible.

"We could not ask for anything more," she said.

MEET SUE BOWDITCH
Facilitator, Bereaved Parents of the USA

BORN: Bronson, Florida, 1945

GRADUATED: Bronson High School, 1963

MARRIED: Benson Bowditch, 1972

LIVED IN: Florida, North Carolina, Texas

CHILDREN: Karron, Catherine, Roben, Laurie, Scott

RETURNED TO FLORIDA: 1995

CONTACT: (813) 661-9334

Derek Maul can be reached at derekmaul@gmail.com.

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