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Support Group Aims For Single Parents

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By YVETTE C. HAMMETT

yhammett@tampatrib.com

Published: March 4, 2009

RIVERVIEW - Rick Patton has devoted his career to helping others, mostly the downtrodden and troubled.

Lately, though, he has found himself a member of a group that often seeks guidance from others. He is in the process of a divorce.

The licensed mental health counselor realized, in short order, that he is one of many in this community facing a tough road.

"I've always had a gift or enjoyment for talking to people," Patton said from his home office in the South Pointe community off U.S. 301. "People always came to me with their issues."

Now, in addition to his professional work at James A. Haley Veterans' Hospital, where he counsels soldiers facing depression, anxiety or suicidal thoughts, Patton has formed a support group for single parents. Those divorcing, people divorced ages ago and those who just find themselves alone in the chaotic world of parenting are all invited.

"I personally found myself in a situation where I had to react" to life's issues, he said. "I was having lunch at school with one of my girls and asked one of the teachers about the number of single parents her students had." One-third of the students were being raised by single parents, he learned. "That's huge."
Patton decided in November to put together a support group - Surviving Single Parenthood - that could meet at his community's clubhouse. Eight people attend regularly and they have plenty of room for more, he said. The group is not limited to Riverview.

"It's a comfortable, relaxed atmosphere to discuss any issue, from anxiety to finances, parenting, dating, issues in dealing with the ex," Patton said. "I feel like it's been very successful."

Lynne Hayes found the group about the same time it was forming. After 18 years of marriage, the Riverview mother of five - three are still living at home - found herself in the midst of a divorce.

"I read an article about the group on Monday, and I was at the meeting on Saturday," Hayes said. "I don't usually do well with groups, but I knew I needed something, and I'm glad I went to that first meeting."

Hayes said the group covers a gamut of situations. "I've had no emotional problems, because, I think, I've learned from Rick to take the high road." Her children, ages 14, 15 and 17, are going through the usual distress that comes with divorce, but nothing more, she said.

She is learning that life is not over, but simply changing directions.

Patton, the father of three girls ages 4, 6 and 9, said the importance of such a support group is the interaction and the sharing of ideas that work - and those that don't.

"Sometimes," he said, "people find themselves on the fence about a particular issue. Or stuck in a hole with so much anxiety, they don't know how to get out.

"My job is to educate and facilitate the group," Patton said. "My relief comes in helping others."

FIND OUT MORE

The support group for single parents meets from 9 to 10:30 a.m. every other Saturday at the South Pointe Clubhouse, 10520 Southern Pointe Blvd., Riverview. For information, call Rick Patton at (813) 235-3693 or visit his Web site at www.rick

pattonlmhc.com.

Reporter Yvette C. Hammett can be reached at (813) 865-1566.

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